State of the Author Address.


The past week of my life can be summed up roughly as follows:
  1. I went to deliver some documents to a lawyer, only to have his receptionist tell me she had no idea what I meant by, "I'm here to serve some papers." Then I went to the courthouse to drop off the clerk copy. Then I went all the way home from the courthouse, because they don't allow cell phones in the building, and they also don't provide any way to drop the damn things off at a front desk or in a locker. And they don't tell you this until you actually physically get there and can see the signs posted by the door.
  2. I spent a night working as a barker for a circus event, where one of the spinners told me (with great approval) that I looked like a Christmas present that had somehow escaped being opened, two people asked in some confusion if I'd been at the preview workshop for that show, as if they expected me to have attended and were puzzled that they didn't seem to remember me there, and a perfect stranger walking out of the T stop with me at one in the morning asked if I designed my own clothes.
  3. It does not matter how many times I have to force myself out of bed before start of business, or how important it is. I am always horrified to discover anew that there is also a seven o'clock in the morning, and that for some unfathomable reason it is still illegal for me to stab anyone who tries to make small talk with me at that hour of the day.
So basically, right now I'm feeling this weird mix of "exhausted", "shitty", and "hypercompetent", which is usually what happens when I kill myself doing things properly, and on other people's schedules to boot. 

Apparently I am nowhere near as stupid as I feel when sleep deprived. I know this because standardized test people are sadistic bastards who schedule all of their test blocks at 8 am on Saturday morning, a time at which I do not feel intellectually qualified to tie my own shoes, much less sit an exam which could potentially alter the course of my life. I pulled off a 1440 on the SATs (old score; 97th percentile) on about two hours of sleep, and something around 1320-ish (old score; 95th-ish percentile) on a set of general GREs after having worked an overnight shift and therefore having not slept the previous night at all. Sleep deprivation is supposed to dock your IQ by 3-5 points for every hour missed. Either you have to peel more than 40 points off my IQ score to knock me out of the gifted category, or I was asleep the whole time, and literally dreamed my entire test-taking experience. I would believe either one.

In any case, I am out of spoons and I still have to pack shit. I will try to keep people updated, but I keep running into snags, like not being able to pay the phone bill quite on time, so I may be sporadic.

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