I am a very frustrated human right now. On top of a bunch of other stuff, we're moving at the end of our lease (again) and the Realtors have already started swarming. After one of them tried to key in(!) the other day, we stuck a sign on the door telling them to SCHEDULE and giving a phone number for the roommate handling it.

I got another one today. He knocked, which was nice, and said he sent a text to the number provided. He evidently didn't wait for an answer. I don't know that he knows what SCHEDULE means. Do they take a lobe of your brain when they give you your realty license?

The answer to "Is the apartment available for showing right now?" is always "No," unless you have an appointment. If you had an appointment, it would be written on our giant whiteboard, or at minimum I'd have a message waiting on my phone.

I keep telling them 'I work nights,' which is generally true, although they don't need to know why. They can probably spell that well enough to write it down on their clipboards. It also provides a good backing for furious complaints to the management when they keep showing up regardless.

One of them apparently did call Jazmin asking to show the apartment right that very moment, and hung up on her when she said no, before she could tell him when the open house was. If they can't follow simple instructions, then fuck 'em. We're not responsible for finding our own replacements.


  1. Jazmin should probably just get a new cell number at this point. It's too goddamn early for you guys to be dealing with that kind of shit.

  2. Already? It's only April!

    Realtors are money-motivated sales types, usually, which means they're a lot like Labrador retrievers: there's no malice in them, but they will push for anything they might get away with.

    It may help a little if you specify: Must request an appointment X hours in advance, showings are only possible between Y and Z times.

    The one who hung up already knew when the open house was. He didn't care, because he had a client in the area who'd rejected the apartments they'd come to see and he was trying to come up with something else they could see Right Here, Right Now. The client, in turn, is frantically trying to see apartments after work and before they have to sleep, is worried that all the good ones will be snatched up today, and hopes that by the day of the open house they'll have signed on a dream apartment. Basically, their short-term time horizon is 'tonight' and their long-term time horizon is 'tomorrow'.

    ...I used to work in a real-estate office.

    1. He didn't know when the open house was, in fact, because Jazmin had just decided. We didn't send out a notice, so unless Realtors have telepathic powers, he couldn't have known. All he heard was the 'no', and he stopped caring.

      There is a large sign stuck to the door now that says you must SCHEDULE a showing, call Jazmin at this number and make an APPOINTMENT. Without an APPOINTMENT you will NOT be let in. I flat turned away the one today. The first jackass who pulled this either found the door unlocked or keyed in after knocking like once. I found a robe just before he walked into the front hall and crankily threw him, and the large crowd of clients behind him, out.

      I refuse to tell them what time they can come back. I don't know. It will be the eleventeenth of never if they can't follow the written instructions that are immediately in front of their faces. Half the ones who have made an appointment haven't turned up for it.


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