Things To Do On Vacation: Welcome to Fucking Boatmurdered

Week Two: Things That Will Not Chew Through All Your Mobile Data

Okay, so at least you're traveling through civilization now, and your phone will once again connect to the 4G network. The connection's not great, and you're a cheap college kid with a cap on your mobile data plan, so you can't just sit there streaming HD video until your flight takes off. What to do? Where to go?

Welcome to fucking Boatmurdered.

If you don't know what you're looking at there, this is an LP (a "Let's Play", basically where someone plays a video game for other people to watch, usually while providing entertaining commentary) of a game called Dwarf Fortress. It's not especially snazzy to watch; the "graphics" are all ASCII characters, to keep things simple and evoke the days of Roguelikes gone by. It's a sim game, where you have a little band of dwarves who are striking out on their own to build a fortress, hence the name. You tell them to mine stuff and guard the gates and make food and all the other micromanagement that people hate doing in real life, but find inexplicably fun when it's in game form.

This particular LP took place on the Something Awful Forums, a link I would not recommend clicking if you are anywhere near work. A bunch of people took turns ruling the fortress for a year and then passing it on. The game auto-generates a name for your fortress when you begin a new game; this one was 'Koganusân', which the text box helpfully translated as "Boatmurdered".

Things went rapidly downhill from there.

If the screenshot LP format appeals to you, you can also try Bobbin Threadbare's playthrough of Sierra's Quest For Glory 1-5, which combines an informative narrative that's very nearly a walkthrough with snarky commentary about the stupidity of the protagonist.


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