Stuff I have learned in the past couple of weeks:

Physician's Formula Shimmer Strips eyeliner is wax-based. It is rain-proof, sweat-proof, and tear-proof, but conveniently not soap-proof. It's also really good at covering up the fact that you've been crying a lot if you wear it emo-kid raccoon style. Make sure you remember to get your waterline.

A surprising number of the people who write porn have PhDs. An unsurprising number of them are also rather absent-minded, and need to be emailed every few days if you want something from them.

I am legitimately allowed to charge an hourly consulting fee for skimming the first few chapters of a lot of really racy novels, so that I can figure out some non-idiotic interview questions to ask their authors. I get to read the rest of the really racy novels for free, when I'm bored on the train.

My graphic design skills do not suck as much as I thought, although I really, really miss having a Wacom tablet to work with.

My brain does not have any good way to differentiate between the various different warning bells installed therein. "Impending head cold" feels remarkably like "impending doom", except with more snot. When both a head cold and doom are legitimately coming my way, everything goes haywire, and I start having stupid arguments with myself over whether people really meant things they have outright said.

It is somewhere between heartwarming and hilarious when my sidekick develops a passionate crush on a British racing green 2010 Miata with power hard top and paddle shifters. It matches up well with her passionate crush on James May.

Relatedly, I'm still terrible at bullying people into buying things they don't need, but I'm way worse at convincing them not to buy things they want. Do you want it? Will you enjoy it? Do you have the money for it? Then buy the fucking thing and get on with your now-significantly-happier day. This goes for both the porn and the green Miata.

It never really gets any easier knowing you don't have any family you can rely on.