State of the Blogger

I apologize for the lack of content here lately. Here's why.

Flathead is making a WHRNK noise when he breathes. I've managed to figure out how to get rat antibiotics without the $100 vet visit, but they're still $25/bottle, which I do not have. I gave him Benadryl and a snootful of caffeine (gunpowder tea grains). His brain will be in an odd, fizzy state for the next 4-6 hours, but he's making less alarming sounds now.

I am starving. Literally, albeit slowly. I can usually scramble enough peanut butter and cookies for the week, but sometimes I can't quite make it, and don't eat for a day or so. If you ever wondered how ascetics and anorexics keep running on less than 800 calories a day, it's sheer stupid stubbornness. You sleep a lot, and drink a lot of water. This week I get to do a lot of walking (5 miles or so to work/studio, because Dorchester), because it was food or T pass.

The rats have oatmeal for a while yet, after which I guess I'll start stealing food from the kitchen...? (Before you ask, no, my roommates will not share. They have not said a word to me for months. They didn't even tell me they'd decided not to re-sign the lease. The landlord had to.) None of this is their fault, and while I have about 10 lbs to go before anyone gets medically worried (3500 cal per lb of fat x 10 lbs = 35000 cal, or almost two weeks of my TDEE if I avoid doing too much hard labor), they do not.

I took the last of my etizolam the other night. It was nice to be able to crack my back and stop grinding my teeth for a bit. I can get 10 tablets for $6 plus shipping, or a few hundred doses for $40 in liquid form. I don't even have $8 for another bottle of Benadryl, which I am also running out of.

The computer got caught by rain coming in an open window last week. Miraculously, the only part toasted was the keyboard. I don't have $10 to get a USB keyboard, and I don't know how much it would cost to get the integrated one fixed. I'm smashing this out on a tablet screen, which is painfully slow. I arrange most of my paying work on computer, and need it to do most of what I get.

The phone will be out in a few days, because I don't have $15 to keep it going.

In order to get public benefits in MA, as an employed person, I have to have a combination of 20 hours of work and volunteering (at approved places) per week. Because of various people's travel and summer slowdown, I have possibly 30 hours total for the month of August, most of which will not be paid out until September. I can either commit welfare fraud, or hang on until the studio shuts down for annual maintenance, and I officially have zero work shifts and zero volunteer hours.

I should probably be on disability at this point, but it's hard to know how much the really crippling headaches/migraines, hypotension, fatigue, and bouts of uncontrollable sobbing would abate if, you know, I got enough to eat. I've always had problems in hot weather, but it's getting super obvious that it's environmental this year, where New England is bouncing between 60°F (pretty much fine) and 90°F (can't really get out of bed).

All of this means I really haven't anything coherent to post about, as no one wants to read endless whining about how I miss fruit and weather that doesn't make my head explode. On the bright side, ye ballroom dance instructor is hosting an event this weekend where he promises to give tutorials on a variety of dances. It's free and for god only knows what reason he seems to like having me around to help, so I might have some thoughts on that next week.

Comments

  1. Where's your donate thingy again?

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    1. Did it go missing when I changed themes? The link just goes to paypal.me/UnsolicitedAdvice

      Christ Almighty, the onscreen keyboard is terrible. I may go back to pecking things out on the Kindle.

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    2. I've got nothing in my paypal account and won't for a while, but I can have Amazon ship you a keyboard and maybe some food, if I had a reliable address. I'm the short bouncy redhead you met (in case you don't remember me, which given your brains I doubt, but just in case) in Boston one afternoon. I think you still have my email address, but if not, reply here and I'll send it to you.

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    3. Sent something to help. I hope you get through this all right.

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    4. I actually don't have an address that would be reliable long enough to count on mail order goods. (Amazon tends to ship via private couriers, who are not bound by mail forwards set up by the USPS.) Since the lease here is ending, I'll be moving sometime before the end of the month.

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    5. I have Prime. Amazon'll deliver in 2 days. From tomorrow. But sure, send me your new address whenever you want! No worries.

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  2. Have sent something in £. Please eat!

    You said previously you felt better if you could provide something in return. If that's still true (and absolutely no obligation of course) I have a people/politics problem at work, where any thoughts would be helpful?

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    Replies
    1. Sure. Send whatever questions you like to miss.arabella.flynn at Gmail.

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