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I am beginning to get annoyed with the fundamental sexism of ballroom dance. It's up there with figure skating, except the ballroom people freely admit that a plurality if not majority of the male dancers are gay. I went to a "gender-free" ballroom workshop this past weekend. This should not have to be a specific thing, and yet it is. When even Ye Ballroom Instructor, a dude who won titles dancing with other dudes, has to consciously remember to say "lead" and "follow" rather than "he" and "she", the gender essentialism must be pretty fucking entrenched.

I lead whenever I am given the choice. I am not making any kind of political statement or asserting any kind of gender identity. I lead because it's easier for me, and I have more fun. There are so far three whole people on planet Earth that I can follow to any useful degree. With everyone else, it is a long frustrating sequence of having to tell my brain to cut that shit out, …

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