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Showing posts from April, 2019
I am so tired.

I just did a month with no days off. That wasn't how I scheduled it, but people kept asking me for things. Please fix my dress, please feed my cats. I can't turn down things that pay money, and there's a pretty hard limit to how much I can do in one day, so it ends up spread out.

I tried doing this last summer, with the bonus of having an early (for me) call to a film set. That didn't work well either. I get erratic when I'm that tired, emotionally unstable, and lose my ability to do basic goddamn math. I've had some "free time" since then, but spent it mostly in bed, which means I'm now behind on basic life tasks like laundry and email and feeding myself.

When I have no breathing room, I get anxious about everything. Every social interaction looks like it's going wrong. Every piece of choreography feels like I've got my feet in the wrong place.

It's especially bad when I have to buy something. Fucking bath towels. I'…