I gave up and spent most of yesterday curled up in bed. I hurt a lot less physically; for some reason, a metric fuckton of dextromethorphan to the brain seems to reboot a lot of things, often including angry nerves. I've no idea why. It's not even an analgesic; I use it for pain control when I've run out of other options because it's a dissociative, and if you're not in radio contact with your body parts, it's really hard for them to bother you.

[It's an NMDA receptor antagonist, if you're curious. A friend of mine who's taken recreational doses of DXM and has had nitrous oxide for dental surgery says they feel more or less the same. This also inadvertently creeped out the dentist. She'd done the first quite a few times before the second, and was sufficiently used to handling herself in that state that she was able to chatter and ask questions whenever he took his hands out of her mouth. Most people do not ask for their loose teeth back, and they definitely do not request a better look at the tray of surgical instruments. The dentist was rather disconcerted.]

Other than that I've mainly been feeding the rats to make myself feel better, and counting down the hours until Trump somehow opens the Gates of Hell and we all die in a hail of nuclear fire. I'm keeping track of things, sort of, by watching The Late Show. Please don't take this as an invitation to tell me what's going on. I can barely handle any of this even through the filter of comedy, never mind from an actual news channel. I want to remain ignorant enough to continue functioning. I live in a major port city, which would be both a valuable civilian target and a vital military one. When the world ends, I want my last conscious thought to be, "...the hell is that noise?"

[Kidding. Sort of. Don't actually tell me anything. Facebook is bad enough, with the trending sidebar.]

I recall commenting when Trump was on The Late Show last year that I thought the 'I can't remember whether you said it, or my old alter-ego did' gag Colbert did at the end of the interview was supposed to be a specific and very pointed insult. Colbert always described that character as an ignorant and unteachable narcissist, and that's when he felt like being nice and pointing out why performing the part on TV could be useful criticism. I figured the absolute worst thing he could think of to say about Donald Trump was that "Stephen Colbert" supported him wholeheartedly. I see from "The Wørd" on Monday's show that my guess on that was about 400% correct.

Colbert's opening song was a colossal explicit Take That + Fuck You to... you know, he's not even really so much mad at the GOP anymore, he's zeroing in on whoever it is that's gone from 'railroading' to 'off the rails' this year. He is pissed enough that he is actually getting mean. Political comedy is not necessarily nice or emotionally-sensitive at the best of times, but normally he seems to try to keep it to things like 'your politics are hypocritical' or 'your voting record is abysmal' or 'this law is abhorrent'. He's given up now and realized that not only he does not like any of these people as politicians, but he can't even pretend he thinks they're acceptable as people.

There were a lot of much more subtle fuck-yous in that show, too. There's a point in the musical number where all the dancers pair off and do some steps with a partner. Colbert ends up dancing with one of the men. It's not a sight gag, and there is no practical staging reason for the choreography to be jiggered like that. There's also no way that happened by mistake.

In his monologue, Colbert mentions the enormous degree of obliviousness required to play anything by Queen at the Republican National Convention. You don't realize how much people, even comedians, still feel like they'd have to coyly hint that the GOP ought to have figured Freddie was NOKD until you hear Colbert actually say the word "bisexual". Like, casually, in a sentence. Because Freddie Mercury was bisexual, and right at this very moment is one of the few instances in life when this fact is genuinely relevant and important to tens of millions of perfect strangers.

One of the skits features Colbert, desperate for help, tromping all the way out to a blissfully isolated cabin in the woods to drag Jon Stewart out of retirement to help him cover the convention. It's revealed at the end that TDS Head Anchor (Emeritus) Stewart has more or less set up housekeeping out there with "Stephen Colbert". That the two personas are carrying on an affair so long-running it's tantamount to a marriage has been a steady gag ever since somebody thought it would be funny if "Colbert" turned out to be a closet case, but they ship it so hard at this point that Stewart ends the sketch by vainly nagging "Colbert" to "call if you're going to be late!" I can't help but think they enjoy knowing that the very idea might give all the right people a permanent facial tic.

[The obvious joke would be that the two characters hate each other so hard they can't stay apart, but it's not played as Slap Slap Kiss, and never has been. The Head Anchor is being rapidly driven mad by the world, "Colbert" is completely mad already, and they're inseparable anyway. I also can't help but think that there is some implied commentary in that, but none of the people who need to hear it have noticed.]

Colbert talks to the Univisión reporter lady during his convention floor sketch. A bit of it is in Spanish. Years ago, Colbert told a congressional committee on migrant workers, "I don't really speak Spanish very well." This seems to translate to, "I don't really speak Spanish very well," since we have only been watching him troll people in it, off and on, for like twenty years now.

At one point, in character as Flickerman, he hollers up at the broadcast booth, "Have Matt Lauer washed and brought to my tent!" Inasmuch as he also tells them that his weasel (actual prop, not euphemism) wishes to make love to someone's facial hair, the gag seems not to be that he's asking for an attractive man, but that he's just gone hedonistically insane. The other news people seem to think he's very amusing.

The interview, with Zoe Saldana, is a little heartbreaking. Saldana, who is a bilingual English/Spanish speaker with parents from the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico, admits to being legitimately worried about what might happen if Trump is elected. Up to that point, Colbert has spent his entire show looking like he's doing his best to make everyone laugh but frankly really really needs a hug, for serious, immediately tries to reassure her. I don't know how well it worked, because he sounds like he needs convincing as much as she does.

This isn't helping. Everyone's scared.

I'm going to go feed the rats something else. Someone should be having a good day, anyway.

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