PSA: How To De-Halloween Yourself

It is the weekend before Halloween, and a lot of people who don't normally wear makeup will be slathering on a lot of it. While I'm sure you've all put a lot of effort into planning how you get the stuff on, most of you have only a very vague idea how to get it off again. Let me help.

In general, the easiest way to get makeup off is the same way you got it on. All makeup is, is pigment in a skin-safe solvent. If you know how you stuck the stuff onto your face, you know how to get it back off.

Powders like loose pigment (Maybelline Color Tattoo pots, loose powder) or pressed cakes (most dry eyeshadows, compacts of setting powder/bronzer/highlighter) stick to your skin because of the natural lipids on the surface. You get them off the same way you get the natural oil off your face, ideally a gentle soap or face wash, and a lot of water.

Thin liquids like liquid foundations are generally based on distilled water. If it smears a lot when you sweat, this is your culprit. Soap/face wash and water will remove these, too.

Professional paints that come in a hard cake are activated either with water, in which case use the method above, or by alcohol, in which case you need more alcohol to get them off. All that vodka you ingested earlier doesn't count, so try a "pore-shrinking" face toner if you want something relatively gentle. If you don't care, a big bottle of that blue witch hazel stuff from the drugstore will also work. Straight-up rubbing alcohol is a bit much, but hey, you do you. This will also remove old-fashioned spirit gum, if you have somehow located some of that to keep a wig or a false beard stuck on.

Long-wear and waterproof makeup is usually in a silicone carrier, which is why it dries down to that vinyl-like finish on your skin. Waxy face crayons have a petroleum base, similar to Vaseline, or paraffin. Eyelash glue is latex-based, or a similar non-latex substance for anyone who's allergic. To get these off without using Dawn and a wire brush, you need actual makeup remover. The expensive stuff is branded "micellar water" and the cheap stuff is just "makeup remover"; either way, you want the kind that separates into two distinct layers when you let it stand. One of those layers is a silicone, which will re-dissolve the makeup, and the other is a plant-based glycerin or a lamb's wool lanolin, both of which are slightly mucilaginous emollients that will lift the pigment so you can swab it away. If you are a particularly creative soul who has painted waterproof eyeliner all over your body, you can get it off with hair conditioner, the cheaper the better. Go hit up the Dollar Tree for some V05. This has a dimethicone base, which is a little much for your face but will work just fine on the rest of you.

Hair chalk, spray-in hair color, or metallic hair paint is pigment that sits on the surface of the hair cuticle. You can get it out the same way you get everything else out, with shampoo. If you're afraid the color will linger, use a clarifying shampoo. As a very last resort, if you absolutely cannot go to work on Monday with pinkish, greenish hair, use concentrated dish soap to remove as much residue as possible. Condition super well afterwards. Pomades, waxes, and any styling product that seems resistant to detergent can usually be removed with coconut oil, or a head full of the same V05 you used to get the waterproof paint off your arms. Cheap conditioner is also the best way to detangle extensive ratting or finicky braids. Dump it all over your head and use it as lubricant to work out the knots without breaking a ton of hair. Use your regular shampoo to get the excess off afterwards.

Glitter is forever. Sorry. Resign yourself to your shiny new life.

If you're prone to bumps and breakouts after troweling on your makeup, I recommend getting a peel-off face mask, and using it right after you've washed your face. It pulls a lot of interesting crap out of your pores. The point here is the mechanical removal; you can get whatever fragrance and mix-ins you like, and it'll do the same thing. A lot of them come in single-use packets, but if you want more than one application, Freeman is a good brand that pops up a lot at CVS/Walgreens/Dollar Tree as 1 oz sample bottles. CVS' Beauty 360 generic masks are usually dupes of their stuff.