A Short List of Words My New Phone Does Not Know

By Circe -

  1. fuck
  2. fucks
  3. fucking
  4. fucked
I had to teach it all of these, lest my messages end up featuring far more waterfowl than I intended.
  1. piss
  2. hell
  3. damnable
  4. furball
  5. misremembered
  6. Groucho
It keeps wanting to guess "site" instead of "show", which I suppose I can understand, but also just about anything plausible rather than admit that it's "snowing", which is almost charming in its human-like denial, but inconvenient. On the other hand, it knows a lot of proper names, including some of the T stops, and managed to get "Aleve" out of a Swype scribble at one point. There may be hope yet.

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 7, 2016 at 12:52 AM

    Gosh, it was such a sheltered, gently-reared phone, and here you are debauching it. Playing it that loud rock music, too! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CirceApril 7, 2016 at 1:37 AM

      I have a history of this. One summer, a friend of mine was staying with her sister and brother-in-law, and I rented their spare room. Her BIL is a pretty cool guy, but her sister is, among other things, an incredibly self-righteous person who likes to beat people over the head with religion. (I'm not kidding. The local pastor was apparently warning people about her, and 100% of them found excuses not to do their Bible study at her house.) Nothing more risqué than Veggie Tales had ever been played on their entertainment center.

      Moggie happened to give me temporary custody of her PS3 whilst she was in Japan, so when sis and BIL went away for a bit, my friend and I decided this would be an excellent time to marathon our illegally-downloaded copies of Torchwood S1 on their pure and innocent television.

      Later that summer, we spent a suspicious amount of time playing a CD entitled John Barrowman Swings Cole Porter.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The mystery of "Himmmm"

By Circe -
[Note: This entry has been edited from its original publication. See here for explanation.] The gossip blogs are alight today with the breaking news that some dude who leaves a lot of comments at a site called Crazy Days And Nights  under the screen name "Himmmm" is "really" Robert Downey, Jr. Nobody has any proof, of course, and there has been no comment from RDJ -- possibly because the story is too new, possibly because it's true and he'd rather not have to lie, possibly because it's not true and he thinks it's too funny for words. Normally, I just laugh at these things, because really, who the fuck cares beyond the entertainment value? But one of the more interesting things about "Himmmm" is that he seems to have made it a point to go after people who have done Really Bad Things. He's most famous for popping in and letting other commenters play 20 Questions about who's being talked about in the most recent blind item, and  c...
Read more
By Circe -
About a week ago, I crewed a show at the studio theater for a non-profit outfit up from New York. The guys who run it are friends of our executive artistic director, and they come up two or three times a year. I like them; I dealt with them a bunch when I was at the box office, because when you're the most experienced person they have around they hand you all of the EAD's friends, and I have an unofficial standing request to work their shows even when I'm not the only crew who is both in town and not drowning in finals. One of the guys, as it turns out, is laid up with an injury right now, so the other one had to fly solo, on top of performing in the show. I ran into him coming down the stairs as I was going up, and as soon as he saw me he just lit up like, oh, it's you!  How are you are you working are you going to be my box office again! I told him I'd swapped over to doing tech and he asked if I was disappointed that I didn't get to dress up anymore. I...
Read more

WARNING! Sweeping generalizations inside!

By Circe -
Captain Awkward -- who is one of my new favorite people, by the by -- has apparently been getting a lot of flack from her post about creepiness and how not to engage in it . I say flack specifically because it's not necessarily all directed at her personally, but when you're in the middle of a field of anti-aircraft guns all firing in random directions, you're likely to get some shrapnel in your hide whether anyone is aiming at you or not. One of the running arguments down in the comments (in her blog, in other blogs, on reddit, on the astral plane, etc.) is about whether it makes a difference whether someone is painfully socially awkward, has Asperger's or an autism spectrum disorder, or is just a boundary-free creepy fucker, whether these things are comorbid a lot, and what to do about it. I think it's really damn easy to tell the difference between them, myself. I suspect it's because I do tact about like a Panzer tank does ballet. The people who seem to ...
Read more