So I went and read the J K Rowling thing everyone has been howling about.
Just for some context, I am not part of the HP fan community. I bought and read the first three books in one weekend. They were cute. I liked them okay. I bought the fourth in paperback and read that, too. It was... long. I looked at 5-7 and didn't bother. I have not seen any of the movies, because I don't care. The internet, and the fans among my friends, have filled me in on the relevant plot points. I know a lot of people have a lot of feelings about the world of Harry Potter, but I have no emotional investment in Rowling or any of the things she created.
Forget, for the moment, everything you know about gender identity, gender presentation, and gender transition. Pretend for the sake of argument that the world works in all the ways suggested by Rowling's essay.
Rowling wants women to band together for safety. She mentions a number of charities -- good on her for supporting good causes, but the list she gives is heavily skewed towards protecting women from harm inflicted by non-woman people. She says when she was younger she hated her gender and might have chosen not to be a woman if she thought she had the option, and she is afraid more young women are being talked into transitioning because it's trendy or it looks like it would make life easier. The quote she presents in what she seems to think is her defense is actually about how much effort you have to put in to finding something to like about being a woman.
She sees womanhood as a community whose main unifying factor is we all suffer the same. Now she is upset by the idea that someone might experience that suffering, see a way out of that suffering, and take it. Rowling sees young people who transition as making a choice she felt was blocked for her, and instead of being glad that choice is open to more people, she is angry that these kids get to escape. It's not fair. You must suffer as I suffer, so that I do not suffer alone.
She is afraid that she made the wrong choice in her youth. She is afraid she was weak. She is afraid her unhappiness is her own damn fault. She is afraid if she sees other people transition and have a better life because of it, she will have to admit to herself that her choice was not noble or better or even more correct. She is really afraid to discover that cisgender people don't typically think all that hard about switching teams, because that would rob her of a self-image that includes things like fine and normal. She is trying to fix all these things by doubling down and insisting that not only did she do the right thing for herself, but she did the absolutely most objectively correct thing and everyone must agree by following suit.
This is grade-A, self-centered, narcissistic, emotionally-manipulative bullshit even according to its own internal logic, even if you read it without reference to outside reality. I have compassion for people who have undergone the traumatic experiences Rowling has; there's an interview out there with her abusive ex-husband that reveals he is, indeed, a completely unrepentant asshole. I just have no patience for people whose coping mechanisms include normalizing their pain by inflicting it on others.
I am afraid to even touch the bathroom idiocy. News flash: Trans people do not want to watch you pee. If they do, they arrange for it on FetLife like everyone else. Someone who is creeping on you in a public bathroom is what is known as a sex offender, and their gender identity is unimportant as long as you can give security an accurate description of what they're wearing.
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