FAQs: Who the hell are you?

So, who are you anyway?
I am a bunch of words on the internet. Everything on here is my opinion, and if you don't like it you're welcome to not read it. If you do like it, please hang around -- I like having an audience. I mean what I say, but I'm really snarky and enjoy using sarcastic hyperbole to make my point. Figure my writing has 'for entertainment purposes only' stamped everywhere.

That's nice, but what are you like in meatspace?
I'm female, and as I write this, I'm 30. Nobody believes this. Occasionally someone will actually argue with me when I tell them, which always makes me check to make sure I haven't wandered into a Terry Gilliam movie by mistake.

In person, people usually conclude I'm younger. My dress sense tends to skew young, mostly because I'm on the small side and clothes from the Juniors department usually fits better. I'm allergic to benzoyl peroxide, so for the past fifteen years my acne-control technique has consisted mostly of peeling off layers of my face until I get down to one so cowed it doesn't dare do anything I don't want it to. Unlike a lot of women my age, I'm not especially worried about finding a mate, settling down, and having kids. There's probably a genetic element, too; neither of my parents look their age.

Online, people usually conclude I'm older. I used to pop up on Omegle and other random-chat services as The Advice Fairy, offering to give people some outside advice on whatever they wanted. All of them figured I was female, most of them figured from my English that I was from North America, but absolutely none of them guessed how young I was -- mostly they thought I was an older lady.

As mentioned, I'm from North America, the United States in specific. I grew up in Arizona, but now I live  in the Greater Boston Area. While I understand why the Sonoran Desert holds a lot of charm for people who like their settlements sparse and their nature austere and frequently trying to kill them, it's unfortunately full of rednecks and people who don't like dealing with other people, and culturally I considered the place a pestilent hole. I like it much better in Boston. There's a lot of brainwork going on out here and the social landscape is a deep, liberal shade of blue. It's like living inside a giant Hooloovoo.

Academically, I have a degree in sociology, with a minor in Japanese. I used to take foreign languages as elective courses, and I speak a bunch of them. I dabble in math and physics as a hobby. My head is full of completely random cruft that is really only good for blogging and occasionally winning at bar trivia. When I find something interesting, I binge on it for a while, write about it, then forget about it as it gradually dawns on me that nobody else cares.

It's generally agreed that half of my music collection is unlistenable crap, but no two people can agree on which half. I scrobble music to my Last.fm profile, which also runs in the sidebar to the right.