Hurricane Checklist

  • Booze. David left me some Bacardi in the liquor cabinet. Lemonade and cherry limeade mixers available. Also about a third of a bottle of Maneschewitz, although I think not even a hurricane would make me desperate enough to drink alcoholic blackcurrant syrup. Blech.
  • Drugs. Generic 200mg caffeine tablets. Bottle of Aleve. Enough Benadryl to sedate an elephant. Probably have decongestant and DayQuil hanging around from the last nasty cold. Know from previous experience with being snowbound in Flagstaff that I am perfectly capable of sleeping through the aftermath of weather disasters if boredom reaches life-threatening levels.
  • Food. Plenty of rat pastas. Oatmeal available; tastes appalling but can be prepared by just dumping it in a bowl with the rest of the milk, which would eventually go off if our power went out anyway. Miscellaneous junk. The roommate who grew up in Alaska and knows about such things says the stove has an electric pilot, but can be lit just fine by hand.
  • Water. Filled all pertinent containers, including the nalgene I use to top up the rat bowl.
  • Toys. Fully-charged Kindle with 2G of novels, bios, textbooks, FAQs, comicbooks, fanfic porn, and assorted other crap on it. MP3 player loaded with podcasts, audiobooks and music. Phone just in case, NDS for playing Professor Layton, Ace Attorney, emulated ROMs, or resorting to Sudoku if brain threatens to atrophy. Also computer with ~2h of battery life, but that borders on useless without the wifi router, which would die if the power went out. 
  • Internets. I have the world's last remaining dumbphone, but it will send SMSes to Twitter. The Hitchhiker's Guide Kindle is a 3GKK. I've never actually tried Facebook on it, but Twitter and Gmail work fine. NDS never did like the router, but I think I'm covered.
  • Lights. Phone and NDS make excellent emergency flashlights, as I discovered some years ago when a drunken idiot ran a truck into the neighborhood transformer. Kindle case has built-in light. LED flashlight on keychain. Also am not-very-secretly still ten years old in many respects, and have two dozen glow bracelets in a drawer for no apparent reason -- will remember to rationalize them with "Hurricane, bitches" next time someone makes fun of me for buying them.
  • Nest. Found all the blankets and pillows, fuzzy socks, comfy sweaters. Rats piled up in an old packing box full of newspaper. If we lose heat for some reason, can just close their cage, move it next to the bed, throw blankets over all of us, and sleep.
  • Payback. After many years, finally get to take revenge for the time Moggie woke me up with a text that just said YAY EARTHQUAKE while she was in Saitama, Japan. Mwahahaha.

Comments