A Short List of Words My New Phone Does Not Know

  1. fuck
  2. fucks
  3. fucking
  4. fucked
I had to teach it all of these, lest my messages end up featuring far more waterfowl than I intended.
  1. piss
  2. hell
  3. damnable
  4. furball
  5. misremembered
  6. Groucho
It keeps wanting to guess "site" instead of "show", which I suppose I can understand, but also just about anything plausible rather than admit that it's "snowing", which is almost charming in its human-like denial, but inconvenient. On the other hand, it knows a lot of proper names, including some of the T stops, and managed to get "Aleve" out of a Swype scribble at one point. There may be hope yet.


  1. Gosh, it was such a sheltered, gently-reared phone, and here you are debauching it. Playing it that loud rock music, too! ;)

    1. I have a history of this. One summer, a friend of mine was staying with her sister and brother-in-law, and I rented their spare room. Her BIL is a pretty cool guy, but her sister is, among other things, an incredibly self-righteous person who likes to beat people over the head with religion. (I'm not kidding. The local pastor was apparently warning people about her, and 100% of them found excuses not to do their Bible study at her house.) Nothing more risqué than Veggie Tales had ever been played on their entertainment center.

      Moggie happened to give me temporary custody of her PS3 whilst she was in Japan, so when sis and BIL went away for a bit, my friend and I decided this would be an excellent time to marathon our illegally-downloaded copies of Torchwood S1 on their pure and innocent television.

      Later that summer, we spent a suspicious amount of time playing a CD entitled John Barrowman Swings Cole Porter.


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