Man, internet, why you gotta be like this?

The people responsible for Rebecca Black and "Friday" are inexplicably still in business. They did it again to someone named Jenna Rose, except worse. I refuse to link to the real video, on the grounds that hits would just encourage them, but here's someone's critique of the song "OMG", which is... pretty omg, honestly.

If you don't want to watch it, the gist is that someone has taken a 12-year-old girl and tried to get her to vamp for the camera. She's not very good at it -- which is, in its own way, reassuring -- but the fact that someone actually thought this was a good idea alone strikes me as pretty squicky. The person doing the critique also got sick of the song, which has about seven words total, and replaced the track with some death metal after they ran out of synonyms for EWWWW.

First things first: Divorced from context, there is nothing actually wrong with this song. It's stupid, but there's a lot of stupid music that's still enjoyable. I like a lot of stupid music. I have both Pussycat Dolls albums, okay? In fact, you know what -- give this song to the Pussycat Dolls. There, see? It's still stupid, but no more stupid than "When I Grow Up", and now you don't feel the need to boil your eyeballs in bleach.

Second thing: Young girls pretend to be adult women a lot, including makeup and eyelash fluttering and all that. It's playing, and it's how you learn things. Even animals do it -- pouncing each other teaches kittens how to hunt for later. I am not a humorless bitch and I do see the comedy value of a little girl pretending to do a lot of the harmless-but-crazy things adults do for real. It's funny when everyone involved knows they're just being silly, and it doesn't stray into any seriously wrong territory. Someone involved in this video, probably several someones, has got the idea that they are going to make this child into something sexy. It's icky.

Thirdly: Where the blazing blue fuck are this girl's parents? Even my mother would have put a stop to this, and my mother is the kind of not-right-in-the-head I think might have tried to get me to do implied-topless glamour shots had I not still been seventeen when I had to get my senior pics done.

This might actually displace the thing Snooki did as Worst Attempt At A Singing Career Ever. Wow.

Comments