Advent Calendar: RATMAS!

RATMAS! RATMAS! RATMAS!

I know you are all waiting eagerly for news of how Ratmas went. I promise you they are fat and spoiled, as always. 

If you want to see all the bits and bobs as they were posted, go ahead and check my Instagram feed. For a good summary of the whole shebang, read on.

Re-setting the rat cage is a multi-stage process. First you have to clean the cage. I have refrained from taking photos of that. Rats are adorably disgusting little creatures. 

Step two is to actually decorate the little heathens' dens. Top cage is first; Casper and Mickie got dumped on the bed while I wiped down their house, including the ceramic floor tiles I put down to keep them from chewing through the cardboard floor and getting their toes eaten off by the cranky old man downstairs. 

Nest boxes go in first. Then a layer of shredded paper. The local supermarket has a bin near the door full of coupon circulars, aka, free rat bedding.

Next, a layer of package paper, courtesy of the Chewy boxes my roommates keep getting for their guinea pigs.

Finally, some fancy gift tissue. Tissue is a special-occasions bedding; it tends to melt when wet and they only get white, because the dye in the colored stuff runs everywhere when it gets damp. Rats pee on everything. I know it's fashionable to dye the underlayer of your hair these days, but I don't need three critters with particolored bellies. So, white and glittery white it is.

(Why is there so much cardboard around the edge of their cage, you ask? Well, Tseng likes to steal shreds of bedding from them, because he's an asshole and it annoys the upstairs neighbors. It turns out that if he gets somebody's drooping tail, he just pulls harder. Fortunately I was home to hear the godawful squealing and put a stop to it, but he took enough chunks off Mickie that Mickie got to spend a week the hospital cage, getting his scabby tail dunked in dilute Betadine morning and night. Long story short, Mickie learned nothing from this experience, so now there's a retaining wall.)

I usually make stuffed trees for the rats -- you'll see Tseng's soon enough -- but these guys liked their other crocheted huts so well that I just made them one in the shape of a Christmas tree. They'll destroy it in a couple of days.

Ratmas is not complete without stockings, obviously. These are baby socks stuffed with a couple of Hershey's Kisses at the bottom, and a wrapped present -- a cinnamon-flavored rice crunchy snack thing. Every rat I've ever met loves rice, and a significant minority of them go apeshit over cinnamon for some reason. 

And of course, you can't forget the coordinating hammock and Cheerio garland.

Bonus video of the Toon Bros scrobbling around their new holiday house!

Tseng's cage is slightly simpler. He's getting older and his back feets don't work as well as they used to, so everything he needs is on the ground level, with a long shallow ramp in case he wants to get up on top of the low shelf. His cage liners are extra long, so I can wrap them up and around the back of the shelf and make him a cozy little rat cave.

His box is an ex-Fluevog shoebox, and jesus fuck, do they make those out of chipboard? I usually cut cardboard with a cheap paring knife, but I had to saw a door into this one. 

(All of Tseng's nestboxes have a top that opens. Tseng does not like being scooped up. I don't blame him; I don't like it either. He has a designated Rat Transport Shoebox for getting to playtime, and I can get my hands on him if I'm really patient/sneaky/bribe him with cookies. Unfortunately, I don't have time for that when the fire alarm goes off -- which it does, because we live over a restaurant and under a couple who can't cook. So his nest box has a separate top, and his cave-shelf pops off easily enough for me to grab the little booger and chuck him in a carrier when necessary.)

His stocking is another fuzzy baby sock with the same Hershey's Kisses and cinnamon rice log thing as the Toon Bros. He has another tile atop the box to prevent him from shoving the lid off and getting stuck, and atop it is his taffeta tree. He was very interested -- I wonder if he remembers it? That's the same tree that was in the cage with him and his elderly Uncle Rude last year, and they don't get chucked in the wash unless the rats have gotten something disgusting on them.

He also got newspaper/butcher paper/tissue, but the photos were clearer without it.

The last step is to throw their special fuzzy velvet throw over the top of the cage, and string their Ratmas lights. The wires are very firmly taped to the front of the cage frame so the critters can't grab them, although the garland is just zip tied at the corners. The love dismantling mylar garlands, for I don't know what reason. 

It looked even better as the room got darker.

The Toon Bros and Tseng do not get along, and cannot share the play area, so there was at least one rat in the cage at all times when I was trying to put the lights up. They are VERY ESTREMELY HALPEFUL FRENS. I cannot count how many times I nearly taped Mickie to the cage. 

Finally, once everyone was back in their cages, I set up the play area as a teeny little chalet. White faux fur forms snow, fleeces inside the cave keep it warm enough to nap in when they're supposed to be exercising (TSENG), and the travel cage gets its own snow topper, padded ramp for Tseng's old-man feets, and holiday bedding with a bowl of snacks tucked inside. 

Everybody then took a well-deserved pre-dinner nap, including me. 

Naturally, they all sprang to life and woke me right the fuck up when it was Tiem Foar Fud.

Behold, Ratmas Dinner:

Two big bowls for the Bros, two small bowls for Tseng -- behemoth he may be, he is still only one rat. Everybody got some stuffing, some au gratin potatoes, a chunk or two of candied sweet potato, some corn, a brussels sprout, and a wee chunk of chicken. Each of the young'uns got a wing tip, Tseng got most of a drumette.

'Winner winner chicken dinner' is apt in this case. Tseng immediately grabbed his meat out of the bowl and waddled grumpily away to eat it, and Casper stole a wingtip and ran behind a box. Mickie, who I'm beginning to suspect doesn't really know how to rat, took a giant bite of candied sweet potato instead.

Tseng:

The Toon Bros: 

Happy Ratmas, everyone!

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