Sometimes I despair at the state of humanity. I just ran across an article about how young women, who apparently read and/or write way too much crap slashfic, are starting to fetishize actual gay men, and are frankly creeping the gay men out.

Really? ashdfkahsjkdhfasdf WHY ARE PEOPLE INSANE? Jesus.

I have friends. Some of these friends are guys. Some of these guys are gay. It's... kind of a non-issue? I just remember to get them hot fireman calendars when a sexy gag gift is required, rather than hot bikini girls. I think it's adorable when they get together with someone they're crazy about who turns out to be crazy about them back. I also thought it was adorable last week when one of the women I know proposed to her boyfriend during the curtain call of a show they were both in. It's adorable because they're my friends, and it makes them happy.

I do read a lot of slashfic, among other kinds. About characters from movies, TV shows, comics, and books. My brain considers this to be okay, because -- and this story makes me think this might be news to some people -- fictional characters aren't real people, so it kind of doesn't matter what silly stories we tell about them. You can do terrible, horrible, ridiculous, offensive, objectifying things to people who only exist in your imagination. Again, not real. I mean, not always the best writing practice, but still. Not real.

My brain does not cope gracefully with "real-person slash". Because ew. Those are actual humans you're talking about. Then, I get profoundly uncomfortable with paparazzi photos, too. When I go on a research binge, I stick to rummaging through someone's public work, and whatever interviews they've volunteered to give on camera. A lot of actors do embarrassing movies when they're like nineteen, but they're embarrassing movies that have gotten a public release, and they are easily explained away by the fact that they were a nineteen-year-old actor, and probably starving at the time.

One of these days I'm going to run into one of these clueless young things, who will be shouting about patriarchal oppression and sexual objectification and microaggressions one minute, and making squeeping noises over a pair of real-life queer dudes holding hands the next. And it will take all of my willpower not to slap the bejeezus out of her.

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