Things you learn working at the low-budget end of the entertainment industry:

"Let me give you money for the train" does not actually mean "let me give you money for the train". It means "I understand that you were contracted for this job on a strictly volunteer basis, but you were awesome tonight / I was awesome tonight / the voices in my head are in a really good mood / I got heroically drunk during intermission and it hasn't worn off yet, and I would like to tip you anyway." You can try to answer if you want, but it won't make any difference, because you will be immediately handed some amount of money that bears absolutely no resemblance to the actual cost of transit in your area.

Also, if they're really nice, they'll buy you booze.

I volunteer for these things mainly because I want to go to way more shows than I can afford, but also because it gives me an excuse to buy small things that I could never otherwise justify, like a chartreuse eyeshadow crayon. It matched the dress, okay? The last time I wore that gown, one of the other models told me I looked "classy as hell", but it turns out that if you wear Whitesnake hair and enough cheap craft chains with crosses on them, it can also look a lot like something Cyndi Lauper might have worn to prom. Several of the patrons that looked like they were probably already sapient in 1986 told me it was very authentic.

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